Get Out Of Jail Free

I was planning to keep up with some more interesting life cycle analysis showdown posts, but too many other interesting things have cropped up in the meantime. Also (believe it or not), very little academic discourse has taken place on the peanut butter vs. jelly debate. And we call ourselves a civilization...

Anyways, this post is about Monopoly. Monopoly and World War 2, to be specific.



As this article outlines in detail, the Germans didn't take very good care of their POWs during WWII, and were thus more than happy to accept Red Cross aid packages to make it look like they weren't TOTALLY ignoring the Geneva Conventions. The Brits were quick to realize this, and started filling the aid packages with a few extra diversions for the troops. One of the most interesting things they sent over were slightly modified Monopoly games. Why Monopoly? Well, it just so happens that John Waddington Ltd., the same company that held international distribution rights for the game, had perfected a method for printing maps onto silk sheets.

For the most part, the Red Cross Monopoly boards were the same as regular boards, except for a few extra innocent playing pieces, like the metal file and magnetic compass. The most useful modification was the inclusion of regional silk maps tucked into the game boxes themselves, complete with Allied safehouses marked along the optimal escape route. Since the Brits knew exactly where the packages were going, they were able to provide detailed maps of the surrounding areas to the troops on the receiving end. Ingenious!

But why silk maps? Paper maps are just fine, until you have to do anything sneaky with them. They're loud, tear easily, and don't hold up well to moisture. Silk maps, on the other hand, are stealthy and waterproof.



As a final touch, Waddington included some "upgraded" Monopoly money, including several different types of European currency, to help the escapees bribe their way to freedom. All in all, I'd say escaping from a Nazi war prisoner camp with secret tools hidden in a board game that was shipped in right under your captors' noses has got to be in the Top 10 Most Badass Things You Could Ever Do list.

(link courtesy of The Freakonomics Blog)

Showdown: Paper Towels vs. Hand Dryers

I ran a post a few weeks ago about Wine and Climate Change, which linked to an article that showed that if you live in eastern North America, it's more environmentally benign to drink imported French wine than Californian. I'm endlessly fascinated by life cycle analysis, so I decided I'd dig up a few more epic showdowns over the next few days. Today, the question that has plagued any environmentally-minded public restroom user: paper towels or hand dryers?

To answer the question, you need to consider everything from the energy required to make and transport the dryer or paper towel dispenser, the energy to harvest trees, pulp them, and turn them into paper (in the case of towels), and the energy required to run the machine (in the case of hand dryers). Fortunately, someone else has done all the dirty work, and it turns out that hand dryers are better than paper towels by a fairly hefty margin. Assuming an equal number of users who choose to dry their hands with either 2 paper towels or 30 seconds of drying, the 5-year impact of a
hand dryer is about 1.6 tonnes of CO2 emissions. The paper towels? 4.6 tonnes.


Fig. 1: The XLerator is the first hand dryer to be LEED certified due to its ability to dry hands in 10 to 15 seconds. It also sounds like a jet turbine, and is the only hand dryer I've ever used that's provoked the thought "is this going to leave a bruise?"

It should be noted that the superiority of hand dryers is pretty sensitive to your personal drying habits. If you can get by with 1 paper towel per use, that drops the impact of paper towels down to 2.3 tonnes. Also, if you happen to prefer more than 30 seconds of drying time, that could be enough to tip the scales in favour of paper towels. Bottom line, as usual: don't waste stuff.

Next up: peanut butter vs. jelly.

Gross National Happiness

As long as there have been countries, there have been governments concerned with how well their countries are doing. There are lots of ways of measuring this, but the standard method for seeing how countries stack up against each other, or against their own previous performance, is the Gross National Product, or GNP. The GNP is (more or less) the total sum of all the income accrued to the country and its residents in a given year.


This is all well and good, so long as you assume that income = cash = good things for everyone. To a certain degree, this holds true. When you have enough money for food and shelter, you are inarguably better off than when you didn't. However, things get a bit trickier once we've taken care of the fundamentals and we start talking about cash above and beyond what we need to survive. Will you be happier with that motorized tie rack or Robopanda? Maybe, but probably only until the novelty wears off, or your robot panda becomes sentient and decides to avenge the indentured servitude of the tie rack.

If more money doesn't consistently lead to more happiness, is there perhaps some other way we can gauge the success of a country? As usual, we can look to Bhutan for the answer. Wait... Bhutan?



Bhutan, a land-locked Himalayan Buddhist kingdom with a population of just under 700,000, has been the first country in the world to adopt Gross National Happiness as its official metric for national success. GNH is much more subjective than GNP, which can lead to some criticisms regarding its use as a comparative tool between different countries. That being said, since the government adopted the GNH instead of the GNP, the residents of Bhutan have consistently reported very high levels of happiness without the associated high levels of production and consumption that classical economics dictates would be necessary to achieve this.

Should we Canadians adopt Gross National Happiness as our new standard of measuring success? It's certainly not an idea without merit, but it turns out that if we want to emulate Bhutan's recipe for happiness, we should also probably eliminate cable TV and the internet.

1,000 Hits!

Hey folks. As of a few hours ago, this goofy little project has officially logged 1,000 hits (and almost 1,500 pageviews) since I started it about 2 months ago. Sure, we're still a ways away from challenging Google or Facebook for top spot in the pantheon of Canadian web popularity, but I'm pleasantly surprised that some people are as interested in obscure trivia and ridiculous news as I am. I will do my best to keep the neat stuff coming.

Interesting side note: A few days ago when I checked Alexa's traffic rankings out of curiosity, Google was the #1 site in Canada. As of right now (12:05am, Tuesday Nov. 27), Google is being beaten by Facebook. Any predictions for how long it'll take Google to make an offer to buy Facebook outright?

Conservapedia

Wikipedia is, in my opinion, one of the best things about the internet. Vandalism issues aside, it represents total information democracy, where every single person with internet access has the ability to contribute to our global knowledge base. Of course, the net result of a totally free information system is bound to be blatant liberally biased garbage... at least, according to Conservapedia, "The Trustworthy Encyclopedia".

That's right, there is an encyclopedia specifically run by and for conservatives. Rather than Wikipedia's obviously liberal attempts at "transparency" and "objectivity", Conservapedia doesn't pull any punches and tells it like it REALLY is. Liberal bias is a scourge that needs to be cleansed from the planet, whereas Conservative bias is actually more of a perspective, and perspectives are perfectly legitimate. Oh, also, there are lots of good reasons why the earth must be 6,000 years old.

Some other great entries include pants, and ostriches, which contains the following nugget of informational gold:

"The Bible mentions ostriches several times. Leviticus 11:13 states that is unclean and should not be eaten; Several verses describe the bird as laying "her eggs in the earth, and warm[ing] them in dust", going on to describe the ostrich as neglectful of its young (Job 39:14-17). however the chapter goes on to say that the ostrich at full speed "scorneth the horse and rider" - it cannot be outrun. (39:18)"

You heard it here first: ostriches are bad parents.

And what does an information-seeking Conservative do with a world of knowledge at their fingertips? Take a look at the top 10 most popular articles for some informative reading!

The Kaossilator

Korg has just released a brand new music-making device (is it an instrument? sort of... maybe) called the Kaossilator. It's small, and features three buttons, a knob, and a small touchpad. Somehow, they've managed to create a device that lets you use these fairly limited inputs to create crazy techno beats almost effortlessly. It's kind of hard to explain, but check out this video if you are in to weird noises and musical gadgetry. It's in Japanese, but you can still get an idea for the crazy possibilities of the Kaossilator. Also, how cool is the guy in the video? Answer: too cool.



Sold out in Japan, not yet available in North America... but you can bet I'll be keeping an eye out.

A Serious Complaint

I spent a few minutes trying to come up with a good summary of this audio clip, with witty social commentary but, as usual, I think reality has done a better job of commenting on itself than I ever could. Here's the gist: it's a voicemail message left on the customer service line at Jimmy Dean Sausage by a rather irate fellow. If I say more than that, I will just distract from the perfectly crafted ridiculousness that is the message itself. Seriously, listen to this.



Wow.

More tales of internet lobsters

Little did I know when I came across the new Sears Internet Lobster Extravaganza (iLobster? Lobster 2.0?) that it was merely one example of a wider internet-based lobster phenomenon.

Take Lobster Gram, for instance. This company claims to have been shipping live lobsters all over the continent since 1987 (presumably ordered over ARPANET, or some archaic form of paper-based long-distance communication). They offer live lobsters, lobster pasta, clams, scallops, filet mignon, and fish, all shipped through the mail. They claim it will be "the freshest seafood you've ever tasted in your life", assuming you associate fresh seafood with the taste of the inside of a FedEx box.

Their FAQ lists all sorts of wacky facts about lobsters (lobster blood is colourless until exposed to oxygen, when it turns blue; a lobster's teeth are in its stomach), as well as some real hard-hitting environmental questions... "Does pollution kill lobsters? Yes, so don't pollute!"

It doesn't address the question "Why on Earth would I eat lobster that's been shipped across the country by the same company that can't seem to ever deliver packages when I'm at home?" but it sort of tangentially approaches the issue with the question "My lobster gram didn't arrive alive... what do I do?" Well, first they suggest that you confirm that it is indeed not alive. Their recommended method: poke it in the eye. Then, regardless of the outcome, they suggest you cook it and try it out. Mmm, questionable box lobster.

But that's not all! If you don't like the cut of Lobster Gram's gib, you've always got Sears, or Lobster Deals, or Lobster Delivery... heck, even Amazon sells lobsters!

Truly, this is a golden age.

Star Guitar

After some discussion of great music videos this past weekend, I think I'm convinced that the video for The Chemical Brothers' "Star Guitar" is one of the best videos I've seen. The concept is pretty simple - a train's travelling across the countryside, and all the scenery out the window syncs up with the song. The idea of music visualization isn't really groundbreaking, but what's really impressive is the seamlessness with which it's pulled off. It's smooth enough to make you think that the train just happens to be passing a bridge every four beats. From now on, I think our urban planners and architects should only design landscapes that sync up with techno songs.



The YouTube version above is pretty low-res, but it gets the point across. This Google Video version is a bit crisper.

Country Names

I was reading the Wikipedia entry for East Timor today (which should give you some idea of how hard I was trying to procrastinate), and discovered that "Timor" is derived from the Indonesian word for "east", officially making the country's name "East East". In that spirit, I did a bit of digging to find some other great country name origins. Here are some interesting ones.

Brazil - actually named after the brazilwood tree, and not vice versa

Colombia - named after Christoper Colombus, who never once set foot in the country

Greenland - name given by Eric the Red to attract settlers, presumably after "Really-Cold-And-Covered-With-Snowlandia" failed to get them the kind of interest they'd hoped for

Namibia - "area where there is nothing". These folks need to get a hold of Greenland's PR firm

Iran - "land of the free"... more or less...

Niue - a New Zealand territory whose name means "Behold the coconut"

Technology, and its many uses

You can now order lobster online... from Sears.

The internet is weird.

Waking up

I am not usually enthused about waking up. Beds are very comfortable and warm compared to the alternative (not being in bed). My alarm clock certainly isn't doing anything to help the situation, since my brain now associates waking up with an ear-splitting, speaker-crackling siren that I'm sure was appropriated from cold war era nuclear air raid sirens. Sometimes, to try and spruce things up a bit, I'll wake up to CFRC, and Queen's very own Indie Wake Up Call.

The problem with the Indie Wake Up Call (a daily morning show from 8-10am) is that the DJs focus on playing "good" music. That is to say, for the most part they play music with strong artistic merit. Here's my beef... In a lot of indie music cases lately, artistic merit means subtle, understated production and haunting melodies. That does not wake me up. I need infectious melodies and raucous beats. Basically, I need Daft Punk to wake me up every day.

However, last week, some visionary DJ (sorry CFRC folks, I don't remember what day it was) played what might be my new ultimate wake-up song - My Rights Versus Yours, by the New Pornographers. Artistically credible, upbeat, unstoppably catchy without being abrasive, this is a song that says "Hey, it's morning, and you are going to wake up and attack the day with limitless energy and optimism! Get the hell out of bed, you are wasting time!" Give it a listen. I defy you to not be motivated.

My brain just turned inside out

When you hear the phrase "20 minute video about geometry", you may not subsequently associate it with words like "riveting", or "mind-blowing". The following video might change your mind.

Here's the premise: it is geometrically possible to turn a sphere inside out without tearing or creasing it. It's certainly not simple, however, and the method that geometers use to do it is incredibly clever. Seriously, it borders on witchcraft. If you're into geeky math visualizations, I strongly recommend this video. If you don't have 20 minutes, just watch the first 2. Crazy stuff goes down.



(link courtesy of kottke.org)

Invasive Species

Earlier this month, CBC's The Current ran a story about the Gulf of Mexico's massive dead zone, an area about the size of Israel (22,000 sq km) that's completely devoid of oxygen as a result of nutrient runoff from the Mississippi river. It seems that since the fish in the area died off, the dead zone has been invaded by massive colonies of jellyfish. Apparently there are huge jellyfish blooms invading dead zones all around the world, including some truly terrifying giant jellyfish that have taken over the waters off the coast of Japan, which can apparently grow to be as big as a car and weigh up to 500 pounds.


Just to restate that: Giant Jellyfish are attacking Japan.

The story got me wondering about other interesting invasive species, and as usual, Wikipedia was there for me. Here are my picks for the invasive species with the most intimidating names:

Yellow Crazy Ant. This little guy is a fairly typical ant, except for two things. First, if you poke it, it freaks out (hence the name). Second, it forms regular ant colonies under ALMOST all circumstances, and hives compete with each other for food. Every once in a while, though, the hives will decide to cooperate and form SUPERCOLONIES, where the ants stop fighting with each other and instead turn their efforts towards total ecosystem domination, taking down other insects, small mammals, crabs and birds with their ridiculous numbers and acidic venom. Do not mess with the crazy ant.

Dog-Strangling Vine. I think the name says it all.

Sudden Oak Death. I am glad I'm not an oak.

On the other hand, there are some invasive species names that fail to incite the same level of fear. I don't think I'll be losing any sleep worrying about invasions of Chinese mitten crab or the air potato.

Wine and Climate Change

A study has just been published that examines the carbon emissions of the wine industry, specifically in the US.

Some of the conclusions are fairly obvious, for example:

• Tetra Paks and boxed wine have lower carbon intensity due to lower weight
• When glass bottles are used, bigger containers are less carbon intense (since the glass-to-wine ratio is lower)
• When oaking, using oak chips is better than oak barrels (especially when said barrels are shipped to the vineyard assembled and empty)

Some of the other findings are a lot more interesting. Especially this one:

There’s a “green line” that runs down the middle of Ohio. For points to the West of that line, it is more carbon efficient to consume wine trucked from California. To the East of that line, it’s more efficient to consume the same sized bottle of wine from Bordeaux, which has had benefited from the efficiencies of container shipping, followed by a shorter truck trip.

Here's the "greenline" described. People to the west are better off drinking Californian wine, people to the east are better with European wines (from a carbon standpoint, ignoring locally grown wines).



I'm always blown away by how much more efficient container shipping is when compared to trucks. The difference is something like a factor of 25 (!). As a side note, the implied conclusion that we eastern North American residents should drink more french wine is one of the best academic findings I've read all year.

Norman Mailer, 1923-2007

American author/journalist/hipster Norman Mailer died on Saturday, November 10th. It would have been kind of fitting if the man who wrote The Naked and The Dead, one of the most critically acclaimed novels about the experience of Allied WWII soldiers in Japan, had died on Remembrance Day, but I'm guessing he didn't have much say in the matter.

While The Naked and The Dead was his first major success, he wound up being much more successful as a journalist, and won two Pulitzer Prizes for non-fiction. One of his more influential non-fiction works is a 1957 essay called "The White Negro", in which he pretty accurately forecasts the "youth revolution" of the 60's, as well as predating the nihilism of early punk by a solid 20 years. He also discusses the subculture of "the hipster" at length, and makes some interesting predictions about the future of the hip.

I have jotted down perhaps a dozen words, the Hip perhaps most in use and most likely to last with the minimum of variation. The words are man, go, put down, make, beat, cool, swing, with it, crazy, dig, flip, creep, hip, square.

Not exactly a perfect prediction, but quite a few of his predicted terms are still hanging around. I can dig it. The rest of the essay's a pretty interesting snapshot of American youth right on the brink of cultural revolution, and an interesting bit of perspective on the hipster's place in history.

24, circa 1994

I feel like posting videos is kind of slacking in the world of blog posts, but I can't not post this clip of the rare, seldom aired 1994 pilot for 24.

"Dammit George! You picked up while I was doing internet!"

Edit: Can't get the clip to show up nicely, so the link will have to suffice.

Pet Terrifying Machine

The market for pet grooming in the US is something like $3 billion per year (that's for pet grooming alone... the total pet industry is worth something like $40 billion per year), so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that some of those grooming accessories are completely insane.

This one made the rounds on the news a few days ago as one of those "isn't life wacky?" clips they show at the end of the news to make it seem like they don't only focus on terrible things happening. They seem to have neglected to notice the fact that this automated pet groomer is nightmarish. Can you imagine being a cat or dog in this thing? Your owner casually tosses you into a cold metal box and locks the door, at which point you hear a bunch of electronic beeping before being BLASTED WITH WATER AND CHEMICALS from all directions. When will it stop? You don't know, you are a cat. A device like this can only have come from the mind of someone with a grudge against pets.

The first half is in french, but the really crazy part is the second half, in which a cat freaks out.

Superhero Surgeries

I had a conversation last week about reconstructive surgery, and how it's strange that no one has jumped on the idea of improvement-based surgery. In other words, how come I can get my knee fixed if it's broken, but I can't get some doctor to tweak my knees to give me superhuman jumping abilities? It seems like there'd be a huge market for that. I, for one, would definitely opt for super jumping, and I'm sure there are tons of musicians who would be interested in ultra-fast fingers.

Well, it turns out there are a variety of procedures that can enhance the human body beyond our boring, regular abilities (link courtesy of Mental Floss). Specifically, you can add several mph to your throwing speed, increase your flexibility, and (with some added peripherals) develop supersensitive, directional hearing. Hooray for science!

Aqua Regia

I've been reading more than a few things about chemistry lately, in an effort to assist with a chemistry class while not appearing wholly incompetent. Of the many chemical compounds I've come across in the last few weeks, the most interesting substance has to be Aqua Regia.

For starters, it has a cool name (translation: Royal Water). Way cooler than things like "regular water", or "Deuterated 1,1-difluoro-2,2dihaloethyl difluoromethyl esters". Secondly, it's produced by mixing concentrated nitric and hydrochloric acids together in a beaker until they start to fume, bubble and turn orange. Awesome.

Also, by virtue of the way the two acids in the mixture behave, it's one of few compounds that is able to dissolve gold and other precious metals (which led medieval alchemists to give it its colourful name).

The most famous use of aqua regia involves Hungarian chemist George de Hevesy during World War II. He was in Denmark when the Nazis invaded. Knowing that the Nazis had a habit of helping themselves to any gold they came across, George came up with a way of ensuring the safety of two gold Nobel Prize medals, belonging to fellow scientists Max von Laue and James Franck. He whipped up some aqua regia and dropped the medals in, dissolving the gold into solution. He then placed the vials with the remaining liquid on a shelf with many other unlabelled chemicals. Surely enough, the Nazis came through and ignored the seemingly worthless chemicals sitting on the shelf. When they finally left, George precipitated the gold and sent it back to the Nobel Committee who recoined the prizes and returned them to von Laue and Franck.

Take that Nazis, you got out-scienced!

All the king's horses

Today's major realization: Humpty Dumpty is a ridiculous rhyme.

Consider the following: Humpty Dumpty climbed up what we can only assume is a fairly high wall, lost his balance and fell off, shattering upon impact with the ground. The King, in an effort to maintain his kingdom's anthropomorphic egg quota, orders his horses and men to reassemble him, but they are unsuccessful.

Now, consider this: are we, the reader, supposed to be surprised that a bunch of horses couldn't reassemble an egg? They have hooves. The men probably could have done a decent job, but the horses would keep busting in trying to help, but inadvertently smashing Humpty into smaller pieces. The King needs better team management skills.

Also, check out this awesome picture of a horse.

Science used to be cool

Maybe it's for the best that we, as a society, have been steadily increasing our awareness of health and safety issues, as well as our environment. Less people get hurt, and we're not quite so reckless about destroying our natural resources (note: we're still pretty reckless).

On the other hand, we can't do stuff like this anymore.



"What should we do with this 20,000 pounds of surplus sodium from World War 2?"

"Might as well just throw it in the lake, I guess."