You can get anything on the internet, pt. 2

Today's installment of "Crazy Stuff You Shouldn't Be Able To Buy On The Internet, But Can" continues the theme of edible products that are probably not best purchased online.

Amazon currently has listings for fresh whole rabbit (fresh?), and Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl. oz.



The Tuscan Whole Milk seems to be getting some pretty good customer reviews though ("This whole milk is smooth and milky in consistency. Not at all gritty, chalky or sandy. An excellent purchase"), maybe I'll check it out after all.

An Open Letter

Dear Alex Trebek,

Please get better. I can envision a world without a Trebek-hosted Jeopardy!, and it's a cold, scary place.

Love,
Bryce

Traveller IQ

If you're anything like me, this world geography trivia thing will occupy at least the next hour of your day. I got stuck at level 10 a few times, mostly due to the fact that I consistently forget where the hell Andorra is. My current high score is 410,450. Bring it.

Droppin' beats... and knowledge

Our society has a long history of cartoon- and rock music-based education. If it weren't for Schoolhouse Rock, I'd still be largely in the dark about American History. Check out this take on the American Revolution. That George III is a real jerk!



A new company called Rhythm, Rhyme, Results is taking the Schoolhouse Rock idea into the 21st century with a series of educational raps. I was really hoping these would be hilariously bad, but I checked out "Demand, Supply", a hip hop synopsis of the 10 fundamental principles of economics, and I'll be damned if it isn't a little catchy.



The Freakonomics blog has the full lyrics posted, if you're interested in steppin' up yo education.

Absinthe

According to the New York Times, Absinthe is making a comeback.



Absinthe is a distilled liquor renowned for its booziness and supposed hallucinatory properties. The origin of its name is a variation on the Greek word for either "wormwood" or "undrinkable" depending, I suppose, on how much that particular linguist enjoys absinthe. It has been blamed for motivating many a crazy act, including Van Gogh cutting off his ear.

However, as with many nightmarish legends about alcohol, absinthe's psychoactive reputation can be traced back to prohibition. Or rather, the prohibition era belief that drunks were in the grip of some sort of otherworldly demon nectar that made them depraved, homicidal monsters with a craving for mayhem.

It turns out that there are no compounds in absinthe (including the oft-cited wormwood) that contain any psychoactive ingredients. The compound which has been blamed for wormwood's hallucinogenic properties, "thujone", was mistakenly deemed to be a hallucinogen in the 1970's as the result of some bad science.



So there you have it. If some dude drinks a bunch of absinthe, then claims to see dragons telling him to cut off his ear, he's probably just crazy. Hopefully once this knowledge becomes a little more commonplace, people will no longer feel curiously compelled to try absinthe, because seriously, it is some vile stuff.

Accordion Hero

Man, I wish this was real.

Win. At. Yelling.

In a somewhat disturbing case of life imitating art imitating life, December 15th marks the release of Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator. If you haven't seen Idiocracy, this product bears some explaining.

Idiocracy is a "theoretical" take on a future 500 years from now in which dumb people take over the world. In this potential future, all water fountains are converted to dispense Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator, on the basis of the fact that "It's Got Electrolytes". They also use it to water plants, because "It's what plants crave", except the salt kills all the plants. The whole point of that part of the movie is that energy drink marketing is all kind of dumb, and usually based on some questionable scientific claims.

And, of course, this is where the real world steps in and decides that there is a legitimate market for Brawndo... I feel like someone, somewhere has missed the point.

On the upside, their ad campaign seems to be pretty tongue-in-cheek, so maybe there is hope after all.