Saturday, July 19, 2008

More Bent Objects

After watching that food art video, I checked out the guy's website, Bent Objects, and his stuff is genius. Submitted for your perusal: ice cubes and orange hunters.


Basil Leaves, Crushed Rosemary

If there's one thing I love more than anthropomorphic food art, it is food puns. This video satisfies both loves.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Slider

Today I have seen the culmination of the entire history of human culinary progression, and its name is Slider. Before I get into a description of this juggernaut of deliciousness, though, I need to talk about the Swedish Beaver.

The Swedish Beaver is an institution at Queen's University, and has been for the past several years. For those of you who aren't from Kingston, the Swedish Beaver is a large, blue-and-yellow painted food truck that parks itself in front of Miller Hall every day from mid-morning until late afternoon. To call it a mere chip truck, however, is to do it great injustice. This is the chip truck perfected. In fact, the fries usually take back seat to the rest of the menu, which is made fresh, with high quality ingredients, and at mind-bogglingly reasonable prices. The whole thing is made better by the fact that the Beaver serves some really out-there food for a chip truck, on top of the standard fries, hamburgers and sausages. Take the Gordon Special, for example. It's a grilled chicken breast, rubbed with some secret concoction of delectable spices, sliced up and put into a garlic pesto wrap with tomato, lettuce, red onion and potato salad. But not just any potato salad. Swedish potato salad, which is to say, potato salad perfected. It's got the perfect creamy consistency - not so thick that it feels heavy, not so thin that it gets all runny in a wrap, just the perfect level of ephemeral creaminess to bind the salad and wrap together in perfect unity. Also, it's got capers in it. Amazing. And it's four dollars. I can barely get a bottle of juice for $4 at the rest of the food service outlets on campus.

Now that you have some context, I need to describe the Slider, and for full effect, you really need to pause and visualize just how unbelievably satisfying this would be for lunch. The slider is a whole wheat wrap, filled with poutine and grilled bacon. That's it. It's fiendishly simple in its arrangement, and yet the whole is so much more than the sum of its parts. For starters, poutine is a world-class dish. I've written before about the elements of a good poutine, and this poutine had it all. The fries were moist and fluffy on the inside, yet incredibly crispy on the outside. The cheese was fresh white curds, and the gravy was salty and gooey and excellent. Now, that's all well and good, but I've always found the tactile experience of eating a poutine to be somewhat less than ideal. You've got this styrofoam container (unnecessary waste), and, typically, some crappy plastic fork with tines that bend when you try to spear a fry. Now, take that same delicious food and throw it in a wrap, and you have a highly portable, edible container that lets you devour your poutine with one hand. Also, it's whole wheat, so it's healthy... right?

Poutine in a wrap is borderline genius on its own, but when you throw some bacon in there... I mean, come on. I'm not sure that's even legal.

In the interests of fairness, I should point out that there are two potential weaknesses of the Slider. One: by virtue of the incredible freshness of the fries they serve at the Swedish Beaver, the Slider can be a bit hot to hold. This is mitigated by the fact that your brain's sensory centres are completely overwhelmed by poutine and bacon, so you probably won't notice. Second, squidgy (that is to say, non-crispy) bacon tends to want to be consumed all at once. It can be hard to bite off half of the bacon and leave some for the bottom of the wrap. Crispy bacon would be better.

Overall, though, I think the Slider might be chip truck junk food perfected. As a pleasant bonus, the Swedish Beaver is parked a mere one block from the Kingston General Hospital, so when your ensuing heart attack kicks in, you don't have far to go.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

On Persistence

I'm pretty sure everyone's heard the old standard, "to err is human, to forgive is divine", first written by Alexander Pope in his work "An Essay on Criticism". However, I came across an interesting tidbit in perusing Wikipedia's "List of Latin Phrases (C-E)" (for my thesis... knowledge of latin phrases is a bit too arcane and dry for me, which is saying something).

It looks like Alexander Pope's phrase was a retooling of an older phrase attributed to Seneca the Younger, a Roman philosopher from the wee years of the first millennium (he lived from 4 BC to AD 65, which preceded Pope by about 17 centuries or so). Seneca originally stated "errare humanum est perseverare diabolicum", which translates to "To err is human, to persist is of the devil", which is certainly as true as Pope's phrase. Of course, our less poetic 21st century language would probably be a bit more blunt about it.

Aesop Rock: Master lyricist, cereal critic

I've posted before about my love for the music ofAesop Rock, but it turns out his wordsmithing talents aren't limited to impressionist rap. Check out this recent post over at the Def Jux blog, wherein Aesop Rock lists his top 10 favourite breakfast cereals, along with detailed justification, and it is awesome. Seriously, I could listen to Aesop Rock describe cereals for hours. Here is a taste:

#2. Fruity Pebbles: This is amazing shit, and occasionally can hold the #1 spot. This cereal blows any other fruity cereal out the box. Fuck a Fruit Loop straight up. The flakes are small too, so every spoonful has a ton of actual cereal on it. It gets soggy in milk (in a good way) and turns the milk all sort of colors. Shit looks like a sweet, sweet oil spill, AND if you're fast, it'll still be cold by the time you "step into liquid". Blizaow.

Friday, July 11, 2008

David Lee Roth Peanut Allergy - Shocking Update!

This just in! David Lee Roth is not allergic to peanuts! In fact, he wasn't even in Canada at the time of the incident mentioned in my last post. Mysterious celebrity impersonator with tiny scarf and funny clothing still at large.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Music Miscellanea

Two points of interest:

-The finalists for this year's Polaris Prize have been announced.

-David Lee Roth got pulled over by the OPP for speeding just outside of Brantford, Ontario. But it's ok, he was having an allergic reaction to nuts. The officers apparently had no idea who he was, but figured he wasn't from the Brantford area when they noticed his "little silk scarf and flashy clothing".